Your Friendly Desk Gal <3

Hello everyone!

This is Sarah, the new “desk gal” at GAZE! I’m beyond excited to embark on this journey with the studio, but more importantly, I’m super interested in seeing how this experience is going to add to my own yoga practice. I started taking classes at GAZE in the fall of 2019 when a friend who I had met through my old coffee shop job could not stop raving about the loving and supportive community that this studio creates in each class. At the time, I had just transferred to the University of South Florida… and my previous institution was St. Norbert College, a small, liberal arts college right outside of Green Bay in northern Wisconsin (yes, it was cold -- and no, I don’t like the Green Bay Packers). I was also born and raised in the Chicago area, so deciding to spontaneously pack up and move down to Tampa, FL by myself after my first year of college was honestly the biggest leap of faith that I have taken so far in my short life. :) 

If I’m being very honest, the first couple of weeks after moving to Tampa last year were definitely challenging. As a sophomore at USF and knowing no one in the area, I felt like I was repeating my freshman year all over again. Also, because I was physically far away from my family, the emotional distance that I experienced grappling with my deep seeded homesickness started to really take a toll on my heart. And then, I took my first 60 minute, 26 and 2 Bikram class at GAZE. Y’all, I walked out of that class with wobbling feet, a pounding headache, and a genuine concern for much I sweat in just one hour! But -- little did I know that I was starting to solidify what would become a long lasting connection between my mind and my body.

For the rest of my first fall semester at USF, there were definitely better days than others. I was living in a student-housing apartment complex right across from campus, and as time passed, I realized this space wasn’t exactly fit for me. Fortunately, I was finally opening up to my work friends, and the majority of them lived closer to downtown. In spending time with them most every weekend leading into spring semester, I got to see so many more neighborhoods in Tampa that a lot of my USF friends don’t even know exist! I was falling in love with the city, diving deeper into my practice at GAZE, and finding more moments of stillness in my everyday life. I was relearning and reteaching myself that I was enough. I am enough. 

Around the holidays, I returned back home to Chicago for a week, and this was my first time back since leaving in August! The cold winter air in Chicago is something that I never thought I would ever miss, but as soon as my flight landed and I stepped outside, the bitterness of the wintry winds wrapped its arms around me like a long lost friend. I was home. Although there are only a handful of people that I still keep in touch with from high school, I was able to connect with them on this brief trip -- and I specifically shared with my hometown friends how I was integrating my mindfulness practice into my life. A lot of them commended me for having the courage to move to Tampa in the first place to start anew, but honestly, I don’t really see this as me being brave. Yes, it was a leap of faith, but I knew it was what I needed to do. I needed to branch out of my mold… I needed to find myself in places where no one else was going to tell me to look. My trip home ended rather abruptly, and with a heavy heart, I actually had to say goodbye to my childhood home for the last time. My parents had just sold our house, and while I could not be more happy for them and their new home in The Villages, FL, driving away from the “red brick house at the end of the hill” for the last time this past January can definitely be added to the list of things that will always bring tears to my eyes. Some things we just have to breathe in through our nose, and with an open mouth, exhale and let it go.

As I’m sure you are all aware, things rapidly changed at the beginning of 2020. My spring courses at USF started with little disruption, and while I wasn’t actively practicing at GAZE, I was still continuing my yoga practice at another wonderful studio, Sattva Yoga in Seminole Heights. At this studio, I grew in my practice of Kundalini yoga, and I spent a lot of mornings meditating on the new techniques I was learning from these classes. I started to notice and name my feelings as they passed by like clouds in my mind -- but never seeing them as judgments. These became strong practices in stillness; the quiet moments where we are only living in the moment and not worrying about the past or the future. We are in the present. I strongly believe that has been my biggest takeaway from 2020. 

Fast forward to later in the spring -- my college courses got moved online, the world seemed to be crumbling around me, and as I peered out of the window in my old apartment, I subconsciously held my breath as cars ceased to exist on the once busy roads. Panic quickly set in -- so I returned to the sanctuary that is my yoga mat. I signed up for GAZE guidance, the virtual program that was just starting at the studio, and for all of April and into May, I took at least four virtual classes a week via Zoom. Not only was I getting the much needed structure and discipline, but I was honoring my body in ways that I might have previously forgot. I was breathing. I was moving. I was still living through what society was calling “the end”. 

Summer came and went. I moved from the USF area to a flat in the Seminole Heights area where I currently live with me, myself, and I -- and all my fruits and veggies! My practice continued to grow with every back bend and deep belly breath. Every time I rolled out my mat, I felt like a piece of my heart was being pulled towards the sky, and no matter what had happened to me that day, I would be spending the next 60-90 minutes doing something for me. I took this consistent practice with me into my current chapter of life: my junior year at USF -- a first semester intern in the College of Education with a major in elementary education and a concentration in urban education reform. 

And that is where I will end for now. If someone would have told me that 2020 would be hard, that would be an understatement. 2020 has pushed the world into every dark corner and every back alley. But y’all -- never forget that you are still here. You are living and breathing through this pandemic, the economic free fall, the uncertainty of the election, or any other personal challenge you might be grappling with. One of my favorite poses in the 26 and 2 class is cobra. As you start to look up towards the sky and feel the muscles in your lower back fire up, there’s this unbelievable sense of power and beauty that your whole body experiences just from your own strength.

Take that power with you into these dark places. Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy introduction -- and I hope to meet y’all soon! 

Also! If you have the time/are interested in reading some of my other blogs, I included their links down below. 

1. Personal Blog - Mindful Moods and Melodies 

2. Academic / Personal Blog - Real Stories, Real Public Harassment

3. Academic Blog - The Reflective Intern

4. Academic Blog - Technology for An Aspiring Educator